Linda /Paul Hurwood


From the Orifice Of The Playpen

Shhhhhh, don’t read this too loudly because they are listening.
It’s a conspiracy I tell you... a conspiracy. The lights are being taken out systematically around the world. First New York then London and now Italy. I tell you they are shutting down the world and they are starting with the electricity. Which as we all know runs the computers which governs EVERYTHING. No electricity NO POWER.

OK so maybe I am over exaggerating a little but doesn’t anyone else see a pattern forming. Surely after three different power grids go down surely someone should see that this is not all accidental.

Here’s my theory… call it controversial… I think it’s some spotty OIK in a bedroom somewhere fucking with everyone’s heads. Personally I would have stopped at New York. Can’t get much bigger than that. But no Mr Hacker wants to show off so he takes out half of London at RUSH HOUR no less. Then over this past weekend Italy goes out. Quite literally Italy’s lights went out.

Here is a picture of the scene seen in Italy. (Exclusive pics)





On to other news. Linda took some time off work and drove me nuts… How she finds all the good films on TV just before I am about to leave for work is beyond me…but she managed it virtually every day of her 11-day holiday.

It’s been fairly quiet around these parts lately, after the break-in last month, someone tried it on again but Linda caught the shit as he was walking in. That was NOT fun. I was on my way upstairs when I heard her shouting, “GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE, YOU ARE THE ONE THAT RIPPED US OFF BEFORE”. Needless to say I was down the stairs like a shot but he had already gone. Linda must have scared him half to death.

On a really personal note at the time of writing this I only have 17 days left on the damned Ro-Accutane drug. After that comes the uncertainty of the withdrawal effects.

Well as I said, it’s been quiet this month.
So until next time keep your Cuffs on the Bedpost and your Eye on the Door
Linda and Paul


• visit Linda & Paul's "in the playpen" at •


linda hurwood

meet Linda Hurwood, also known as
Min. click here and see why she's known as

the rubenesque woman

I was born Linda Sue DeZarn to a couple with four other living children. Our family was poor as far as money went but we were rich because we had love and each other. I am now 47, mother of two daughter's and proud grandmother of six beautiful grandmonsters; the four oldest being boys and the babies are both girls (took long enuff for the girls to show their pretty faces).

I met Paul Hurwood (aka miskin) online in Excite's Virtual Places (where I also met Cait) in a chat room called Ninian's Poetry Cafe. Had it not been for some of the people in that room I would not be here today. I have led a long hard life most of which can be read in my writings.


Linda's Poetry Pages

• Dedicated to the man of my dreams

by Miskin for Linda
• Stronger Than Steel
• In Honour







paul hurwood

Hi there folks. My name is Paul, and I have vital statistics that resemble the national debt of several third world countries combined. As you probably know Linda is my wife and you know the story so I won’t bore you all with it again.
In the words of Joshua one of the grand monsters “I AM A FREAK” and pretty much proud of it too.
I will try pretty much anything once and if I like it or it’s bad for me I will probably try it a couple more times just to make sure. I don’t like to take things to seriously, life is way too short.
Art wise I pretty much like anything that pushes the boundaries of either taste or experimental. My main passion is Old Time Radio, it helps to stimulate the brain and gets you thinking again.

I do occasionally write poetry but I am not a perfectionist. I write what comes into my mind and just see what happens. I think that this the honest way of writing. If it doesn’t make sense it's no biggie as far as I am concerned.
My influences come from all over the place… I get moods from Pink Floyd or whatever is playing on my cd player at the time and the Goons… a wonderfully anarchic mix of surrealism and comedy… if you get the chance try them out.

In closing I want to tell you my motto in life. It’s really simple and when things go wrong and you’re not sure what to do….


The translation is down to you.

Keep your eyes on the door and the cuffs on the bedpost


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